forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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