Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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