you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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