Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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