I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
