READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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