I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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