Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
