They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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