You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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