words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
