My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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