so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
