It's Friday. Sex?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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