And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
