kristin has been a bad kristin
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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