I want to walk on stilts...naked
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
