I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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