I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Let's paint friendship bongs
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
