I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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