i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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