I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
