she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
