I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
