She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
