Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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