So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
