I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
