If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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