so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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