TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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