Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
