Small penises have feelings too.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
