you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
