im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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