White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
