She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
