What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
