walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
