Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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