i just wanna soil my oats bro
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I don't think brook has ever known best
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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