After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
