For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
