I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
