Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
