I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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