all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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