he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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