Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
