The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
