mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just want to make out with him forever
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
