Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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