How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
