YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
