Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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