5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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